Opinions
Full category list for displayed posts: Humor, Opinions, Steve Jobs
2:14 pm, January 5th, 2009, Giles Turnbull
“Dear Apple Community,”
→ Dear asshole bloggers,
“For the first time in a decade, I’m getting to spend the holiday season with my family, rather than intensely preparing for a Macworld keynote.
“Unfortunately, my decision to have Phil deliver the Macworld keynote set off another flurry of rumors about my health, with some even publishing stories of me on my deathbed.”
→ You journalists are assholes too.
Read the rest of this post »
Posted by Giles Turnbull in Humor, Opinions, Steve Jobs | 6 Comments »
4:51 am, January 5th, 2009, Giles Turnbull
Ladies and gentlemen!
Take your seats! Blow your noses! Switch off your iPhones! The time is drawing near for the annual Exposition Of Wonder And Amazement that is: Macworld Expo!
Pray cease your wild applause, ladies and gentlemen. We are gathered to celebrate the ending of Another Round Of Mostly Incorrect Rumors, and to cheer on our Leader, His Lordship Steve of Jobs, as he fails to take the Stage of Reality Distortion and instead leaves the task to his minion, Phil “Igor” Schiller.
But before we embark on this journey of discovery, let us enjoy a few brief moments of quiet and calm. Let us take this opportunity to revel in some of the rumors and gossips that have slaked our thirst for actual Apple product news in recent weeks:
- iWork as a cloud app? I don’t think so. Well, iMovie then. Whaaaa? I can really see my ISP going crazy happy about people editing movie files over their pipes. More crazy than happy, though.
- iPhoto as an iPhone app? My iPhone crashes often enough as it is…
- How about a Red iPhone? I fear not with that font, dear friends, not with that font
- Updated Mac minis? Yes! Yes please!
Iiiiiin short: lots of waffle and claptrap. Some of it might even turn out to be true. Or so vague in the first instance that even the slightest mention of a product will validate the rumor.
Even though Steve won’t be on stage (which, as Leander has pointed out, isn’t necessarily a bad thing), the advice this year is the same as the advice every other year: sit back, relax, spend Tuesday with your loved ones, and worry about the keynote later. You can be sure that it will be summarized on one or two web sites. We might even mention it here.
Oh, and don’t buy any new Macs between now and tomorrow. But you knew that already.
(Picture: trialsanderrors, under CC License.)
Posted by Giles Turnbull in Macworld, News, Opinions, Rumors | No Comments »
4:23 am, January 2nd, 2009, Giles Turnbull
I probably shouldn’t be saying this on a Mac site, but reputation be damned: I’m quite interested to see Windows 7. Let me explain why. (Hang on while I put on my flame-proof jacket. There.)
THING THE FIRST: I want a netbook. I want a cheap, tiny, low-power little computer that does text editing and web browsing. Something I can chuck in my bag and forget about, but be sure it’ll be there as and when I need it. I don’t want to play games on it. I don’t want to mess with my photos on it. I don’t want to make phone calls on it. It doesn’t need a lot of disk space. But it does need a keyboard.
THING THE SECOND: I cannot afford to buy a MacBook Air. And anyway, it doesn’t offer the battery life I’m looking for.
THING THE THIRD: I don’t think Apple’s going to be producing a netbook like this any time soon.
THING THE FOURTH: But I wish they would.
THING THE FIFTH: Windows 7 is on the way, it’ll run on netbooks, and - this is the important bit - I think it’s the first version of Windows that I might have a chance of getting on with.
Why?
Because it, ahem, borrows rather a lot of ideas from Mac OS X.
Let’s see now: it removes unnecessary icons from the Desktop. It makes the Task Bar more Dock-like. It adds a system-wide search box to the Start Menu, from which you can launch apps, open files, access preferences (sorry, options), much in the manner of the Spotlight menu.
What’s more, reports tell us that Windows 7 is less bloated than Vista, runs on more humble spec machines, is somewhat more secure, and runs faster too.
So, in summary: this is the first version of Windows I’ve seen that I’ve seriously considered actually using. And until Apple finds that string of DNA that enables it to make cheap, low-power computers, it will remain an option I’ll consider.
Or maybe I should just get a Linux-based netbook (and optionally install OS X on it regardless) and save myself the bother.
(Picture used under CC license: thanks to adKinn.)
Posted by Giles Turnbull in Opinions, Software, Top stories | 19 Comments »
1:38 am, December 31st, 2008, Lonnie Lazar
Digg founder Kevin Rose announced his concern for Steve Jobs’ health Tuesday, but there’s always a subtext to such public displays of empathy. We’re not sure what it is in Rose’s case, but a few guesses are he:
a) puts way too much stock in what he reads on Gizmodo
b) is more worried about getting publicity for his own Internet venture
c) is a typically clueless amateur money manager
d) lives to see his name on the Internet
e) all of the above
On top of which, he’s either a very careless typist or an embarrassingly poor speller.
Posted by Lonnie Lazar in Opinions, Steve Jobs | 14 Comments »
1:41 am, December 30th, 2008, Lonnie Lazar
News broke over the weekend that iFart Mobile, the current #1 paid application on Apple’s iTunes AppStore, netted its creators $40,000 in two days at Christmas, according to a blog post by Joel Comm, the application’s lead developer.
The two-day holiday haul was in addition to $25,000+ in profits the app generated in the two weeks prior to Christmas.
Comm’s is by no means a unique success story. Steve Demeter, developer of the game Trism, made $250,000 in the first two months the AppStore was open; Eliza Block, the developer of “2 Across” app, was reportedly earning $2,000 per day on her application back in September.
Granted these are but three names out of the more than 10,000 apps now available for the iPhone and iPod Touch. It’s not difficult to do the math, though, and when an application designed around people’s fascination with flatulence - one of dozens dedicated to the same theme - can net its creator $40,000 in two days, it would seem irresponsible of a director attempting a remake of The Graduate not to write this exchange into the script:
Mr. McGuire: I want to say two words to you. Just two words.
Benjamin: Yes, sir.
Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
Benjamin: Yes, I am.
Mr. McGuire: iPhone Apps.
Posted by Lonnie Lazar in News, Opinions, iPhone, iPod Touch | 5 Comments »
1:00 am, December 30th, 2008, Lonnie Lazar
I have to admit I have been keeping abreast of technology news with one eye, sort of, during this Holiday Season. I have a family, and my one child is going to grow up fast, so I’m told. Thus, I’ve been spending more time with him since he’s off from school for the winter break.
I was a little surprised, then, to see all the hoopla frothing around HP’s introduction Monday of a new Home Media Server for automatically backing up and accessing digital music, videos, photos and documents from multiple computers on a home network. “That sounds kind of familiar,” I thought.
But there it was, all over Gizmodo and Engadget and TUAW and I said to myself, “Has the Apple community been somehow missing this appliance and its amazements?”
To be fair, some of the reportage was done in the context of wondering if Apple itself might be coming out with a similar appliance, and whether or how it might be integrated with the company’s MobileMe web services product. And, wouldn’t you know it, there’s this trade show coming up next week in San Francisco, which would be a perfect time and place to introduce just such a device. The suspense is now killing me.
But this HP baby that got all the ink? Well, it’s compatible with Mac and Windows, organizes files across all PCs on a connected network, streams media across a home network and the Internet, has a server for iTunes that centralizes iTunes music libraries on the server for playback to any networked Mac or PC running iTunes, and costs $600 with a 750GB hard disk or $750 for one with a 1.5TB disk.
Sort of like a souped up version of the Lacie Home Media Server I reviewed six months ago for Mac|Life Magazine, priced at about $150 with a 500GB disk.
Also to be fair, HP’s server plays nice with Time Capsule and Leopard, and lets you easily publish pictures and video to social networks such as MySpace and YouTube - which is not to say Lacie has not updated its software to do the same in the past six months - but on the whole, HP’s latest venture outside its core printer making business struck me as something of the very slow-news-day variety.
Posted by Lonnie Lazar in First impressions, Hardware, Opinions | 2 Comments »
12:05 am, December 30th, 2008, Lonnie Lazar
More Apple oriented websites felt obligated to post the news on Monday that casemaker Vaja has added an iPhone Nano category to its offerings of cases for Apple phone products. Coming on the heels of last week’s news that XSNS had done the same, the pre-Macworld rumor mill seems to indicate a strong likelihood that Apple will introduce a mini-me version of its popular mobile phone next week in San Francisco.
Is this what we’ve come to? Roughly 10 million people have bought iPhones this year. AT&T is selling refurbished iPhones for $99 and now you can buy them new at Walmart, too. Who, exactly is dying for an iPhone Nano?
I have to go on record as saying I’ll be disappointed to see Apple cave in to the mobile handset market’s mystifying tradition of churning out 1001 minutely varied executions on a theme, for the sake of what? Surely not functionality.
Prior to the iPhone you had relatively similar smartphones made by a few companies (Palm, RIM, Nokia) and hundreds of other devices that were just, phones, made by dozens and dozens of manufacturers. Even within the smartphone realm, my eyes glazed over at the number of “different ” Blackberries, for example.
The iPhone came along and changed everything. And in perfect Apple fashion there were basically two choices, a perfectly fine device and another one for those whose device must, under any circumstance be perceived as “bigger.” Hey, fine. There’s nothing wrong with a Corvette…
But now, a Nano? Something smaller? Less functional than its big brother? Less touchscreen real estate? A virtual keyboard for really tiny fingers?
Knock yourself out, Apple. I would think there are greater heights to scale.
Posted by Lonnie Lazar in Apple, News, Opinions, iPhone | 11 Comments »
8:18 am, December 27th, 2008, Leigh McMullen
It seems that suing Apple is no longer just the sport of crazy chicks allegedly denied their dog-given right to resell iPhones at extortionist rates because Apple discounted them. Instead, we have crazy patent campers who think that 25 years after Apple pioneered the use of the GUI in personal computers, they’re entitled to license fees on a patent granted last March.
Join me in going totally off the deep end after the jump…
Read the rest of this post »
Posted by Leigh McMullen in Humor, Opinions, Top stories | 8 Comments »
2:04 pm, December 23rd, 2008, Giles Turnbull
Last week I asked Cult readers for their nominations for new Mac app of the year. Things, 1Password and Dropbox seemed to be the consensus choices, all of them excellent new software products.
It got me thinking, though: how has my computing behavior changed during the last 12 months? What new software am I using that I wasn’t using last Christmas, and why?
Read the rest of this post »
Posted by Giles Turnbull in Gaming, Opinions, Software, iPhone | No Comments »
10:24 pm, December 22nd, 2008, Lonnie Lazar
Writing Monday for the eWeek blog, AppleWatch, Joe Wilcox gave the iPhone a D in telephony and a C for battery life, saying he simply could not recommend the device as a phone. Despite singing the praises of Apple’s mobile platform he gave it an overall grade of B- and seemed mighty pleased to announce that everyone in his family has rejected the iPhone in favor of an iPod Touch + some other cell phone.
I find Wilcox’s assessment curious and wonder how many of the other 8 - 10 million iPhone owners feel their device is so disappointing from the telephony and usability standpoints that they’d actually prefer to carry two devices around instead of one. Follow me after the jump to learn what Wilcox thinks is so bad about iPhone and where my own assessment takes me in response.
Read the rest of this post »
Posted by Lonnie Lazar in Opinions, Top stories, iPhone | 31 Comments »
5:32 pm, December 21st, 2008, Lonnie Lazar
When it comes to competition, the one between Apple and Dell often breaks out beyond traditional metrics such as revenue, profits, market share and units sold.
Many years ago, before Apple reinvented itself under the return stewardship of Steve Jobs, Dell founder and CEO Michael Dell was famously quoted as saying the best thing a new commander could do with the Apple ship would be to shut the company, sell its assets and give the proceeds to the shareholders.
This fall, around the time of Apple’s most recent quarterly earnings call, when Jobs took a rarely exercised opportunity to bask in glory of his company’s recent success in a lighthearted, congenial chat with analysts, many technology writers were quick to point out that Apple had more than enough cash on-hand to buy Dell outright, should the Board choose to do so.
In a recent blog post, Bob Pearson, Dell vice president of communications and conversations, sought to extend the competition between the companies to a battlefield on which many will be made and broken in the next decade - the environment.
Apple is all talk and no walk, to paraphrase Pearson’s criticism. He is apparently unappreciative of new Apple advertising touting Mac notebooks as “The World’s Greenest Family of Noteboks.” Pearson goes on to list some specific measures Dell has taken to reduce its carbon footprint and describes interactions with suppliers that will reduce Dell’s responsibility for millions of pounds of unnecessary shipping and packaging waste. Apple’s advertising is dismissed as “wild claims” and mere “rhetoric.”
Fighting words, perhaps, to some. Edible Apple has a nice critique of Pearson’s post - much ado about nothing, in short - though I can speak to one suggestion Pearson has for Apple that they might consider at One Infinite Loop. Pearson says “be part of the conversation,” and goes on to whine about Apple employees not being permitted to write blogs, which seems an off-the-mark complaint.
But I have been working on a story for a green designs publication for over a month, trying to get someone at Apple to speak with me about the very things the company advertises in its “greenest family” spots - and I’ve run into a brick wall. There are over two dozen Public Relations Vice Presidents on my list of Apple contacts, and from what I can tell none of those people seems interested in speaking to journalists - even to those of us who are nominally interested in helping Apple tell its story to a wider audience.
Posted by Lonnie Lazar in Apple, Media, Opinions | 1 Comment »
3:11 am, December 19th, 2008, Giles Turnbull
Right then, lovely Cultists. We want your help.
We want to know what the Mac community’s favorite new apps are. What software - first released during 2008 - has fired you up, made you incredibly productive, had you screaming with joy or laughing with delight, or generally just been jolly useful?
We want to know.
We’re prepared to be a little fuzzy with the rules. If your nomination first appeared as a beta in late 2007, that’s fine. If it’s only just appeared in the last few days, that’s fine too. But it needs to be a NEW Mac app, and it needs to have been new this year. You get the idea.
(And yes, we’re going to do one of these for iPhone apps too - maybe next week. One thing at a time.)
So, fire away. Speak your branes. Perhaps we can reach some kind of consensus. The comments box, lovely Cultists, is yours to sully.
Posted by Giles Turnbull in Cult of Mac, News, Opinions | 26 Comments »
2:52 am, December 18th, 2008, Giles Turnbull
Phil Schiller, watch out. Some people are so annoyed at Apple’s decision to quit the Macworld Expo that they are planning a humiliating revenge.
Lesa Snider King loves Macworld so much that she’s declared herself “mad at Apple” with a brand new call to arms web site: Silent Keynote.
“Apple is sending a message to the entire community–professionals, hobbyists, media, Mac User Groups, and even IDG themselves–that they care nothing for the community who supported them through thick and thin,” she declares.
And so: “If you’re attending the Macworld Expo keynote on Tuesday, Jan. 6, you can send a message to Apple by remaining silent during the 2009 keynote. While Phil Schiller is on the stage, let there be no applause, no whistling… just utter and complete silence.”
What do you think of Lesa’s plan? Will you join her in silent protest? If you do, and Apple DOES finally unveil that updated Newton-Pippin-Tablet-iPhone crossover that everyone’s been going on about for so long, how will you manage to contain yourself?
I can’t help thinking that Lesa’s just shooting herself in the foot here. By announcing that it will quit Macworld, Apple has already made clear that it doesn’t care what Macworld attendees think. It’s going to do its own thing, regardless.
(Photo used under Creative Commons license: thanks kradlum.)
Posted by Giles Turnbull in Cult of Mac, Macworld, News, Opinions, Top stories | 33 Comments »
2:21 am, December 17th, 2008, Giles Turnbull
Every time I say this, some people start getting all shirty and saying: “Yes it is! Steve matters!”
After my Don’t Panic post yesterday, there were similar comments, like this one: “Yeah, actually Steve Jobs health is our business. He made Apple, he revived Apple and he brought Apple to it’s current massive success. Steve Jobs IS Apple. Without him the company has a far smaller chance of survival.”
I completely disagree with this line of thinking, and here’s why:
Read the rest of this post »
Posted by Giles Turnbull in News, Opinions, Steve Jobs | 16 Comments »
10:06 pm, December 16th, 2008, Lonnie Lazar
Politics, not platelets, are why Steve Jobs is turning over the Keynote responsibility to Phil Schiller at next month’s Macworld Conference & Expo, according to CNBC correspondent Jim Goldman.
Citing “sources inside the company,” Goldman writes that Jobs’ demurral from the Keynote address for Apple’s last appearance at the venerable trade show in San Francisco is assuredly not a product of any inability on his part to perform for health reasons, but is rather a result of the company’s “trying to separate itself from Macworld for some time.” Amid the growing trend of big companies scaling back participation in traditional trade shows world wide, Apple has also in recent years taken the lead in producing its own product release events, such as the ones that introduced the company’s new iPods this summer and new notebook computers in the fall.
Apple also directly reaches millions of visitors who come weekly to its growing chain of world-wide retail stores, and millions more who receive the company’s carefully designed and controlled messaging through visits to the company’s iTunes stores.
Knowing how the Apple-interested universe’s collective pulse begins to race with every inkling of Jobs’ mortality, it’s no surprise to see Monday’s announcement generate lots of speculation and extra volatility in the movement of the company’s stock price. As Goldman writes, however, the party to be concerned about is not Jobs, and not Apple, but Macworld. For some time now it’s been fashionable to imagine scenarios about Apple in the inevitable post-Jobs era. But will there even be a Macworld in the post-Apple era?
Posted by Lonnie Lazar in Apple, Macworld, Opinions, Rumors, Steve Jobs | 2 Comments »
2:57 pm, December 16th, 2008, Giles Turnbull
Apple’s decision not to attend Macworld might mean any of the following:
- - Yeah, maybe Steve Jobs is really ill. It’s none of our business, though
- - Apple no longer wishes to indulge the trade show industry
- - Apple would rather present stuff on its own agenda, to its own timetable, when there is stuff ready to present. And if it wishes to hire a big room in which to do so, it will certainly have the money to do that
- - Apple would rather devote itself to WWDC
- - Perhaps, given the success of the iPhone, Apple would rather devote its energies to publicising and marketing the iPhone and the App Store
What Apple’s decision not to attend Macworld might NOT mean:
- - All of the above
- - Any other speculation you read elsewhere today
Meanwhile, keep injecting the rumor sites if that’s what grabs you. New Mac minis! Some kind of netbook! iPhones on skis! Yeah yeah yeah; it’s all just hot air and page impressions until Phil Schiller stands on that stage. And even after that, it’ll mostly be page impressions.
Posted by Giles Turnbull in Macworld, News, Opinions, Rumors | 6 Comments »
8:16 am, December 15th, 2008, Giles Turnbull
First: Try My Nose!! No, really! Try it!
“Just select a nose you like, hold it next to you current nose and surprise your friends!”
Or - now here’s a radical thought - just stick with the nose you were born with! Maybe it suits you just fine! Maybe - oh never mind. Next!
Read the rest of this post »
Posted by Giles Turnbull in Humor, News, Opinions, Software, iPhone | 2 Comments »
3:01 am, December 12th, 2008, Giles Turnbull
Soooo, this 3D interface that everyone’s been going crazy about; allow me to add a brief comment:
Arrrrrrrrgghghggghghhhhh.
Read the rest of this post »
Posted by Giles Turnbull in Opinions, Software | 11 Comments »
10:36 pm, December 11th, 2008, Lonnie Lazar
In the wake of developer Craig Hockenberry’s “Dear Steve” letter complaining about feeling forced to drift in a sea of 99¢ “ringtone apps,” and the inevitable charges of petulant whining that some accused him of in response, developers at Appcubby have published detailed financial records showing, down to the dollar, what goes into keeping food on the table for an iPhone app developer.
Among the things Hockenberry mentioned in his developers’ wish list to Steve were: ways to accurately track who exactly is downloading apps (and which ads/links they clicked on to get to the store), and the ability to offer free demo version of apps that expire after a given time, prompting people to buy the full app. Appcubby’s records would appear to support the view that Hockenberry was not just crying in his beer, and their post supports his call for free demos and more ad-tracking capabilities as two things that would greatly help the situation.
Via Gizmodo
Posted by Lonnie Lazar in News, Opinions, Software, iPhone | No Comments »
2:28 pm, December 10th, 2008, Lonnie Lazar
We reported last week on internet voice service provider Truphone’s mobile app that enables Voice over IP phone calling over WiFi using Apple’s iPod Touch. Wednesday, the company announced availability of Truphone Anywhere, an update to its iPhone app that lets iPhone users make VoIP calls “even if you’re not connected to WiFi or a 3G network.”
With TruPhone Anywhere you pay for a local connection - meaning your call is routed to the cellular network - before the rest of the call is connected using VoIP. Change-o, presto: cheap international calling is here.
Except that it’s been here for more than a year. San Francisco-based service provider RF.com has enabled the same type of calling with any VoIP provider (Skype me, anyone?), and even Asterisk, since shortly after the debut of the original iPhone.
Another mobile VoIP provider, JAJAH, had an app to enable VoIP-completed cellular calling ready for the AppStore launch this past July, but Apple rejected it “because the VoIP service is active over the cellular network, which as outlined in the iPhone SDK Agreement section 3.3.15 is prohibited: ‘If an Application requires or will have access to the cellular network, then additionally such Application: - May not have Voice over Internet Protocol (VoIP) functionality,” according to JAJAH spokesman Fredrick Hermann.
Perhaps Apple is less concerned with enforcing the SDK’s VoIP via cellular prohibition today; perhaps Truphone’s “Anywhere” functionality slipped through, or perhaps its app will be pulled from the AppStore tomorrow, or next week. As usual, Apple isn’t saying anything publicly.
Either way, VoIP over iPhone is here to stay.
Via GigaOM
Posted by Lonnie Lazar in Apple, News, Opinions, iPhone | 4 Comments »
